I Like California Better (Simple Syrup #4)

I was sitting in the car with Seung Kyoon, he seemed a little excited about sitting in the front seat and I wondered for a moment if it was illegal, or something. I think I had heard somewhere that you had to be 80 pounds to sit in the front seat on the car but I'm no good at gauging a person's weight-or anything, really. We were in the car alone and it struck me how strange that was, and how much stranger that this thought would occur at all.

Chemistry is decidedly different in the presence of just one other person, it shifts/slants in, canisay, a more accurate perspective. Seung Kyoon seemed more shy, more aware of the focus, but all the more grown for it and there was something sweet, maybe a little somber, about the whole thing. I was asking questions, the kind that suggested larger questions, but made digestible. Questions like, "Do you like Korea or California better?" I had asked this questions before, in its many forms but somehow, in this moment, it seemed understood that the expected answer was something a little meatier than usual. Usually, there'd be a boxy answer that required little supplemental explanation but I think he knew that this was not what I was looking for.

He said," I like California better. I..."
He paused, broke.
"I'm just more comfortable here."
He paused again, the effort of interpolating reason and emotion evident.
"I don't know why."
He laughed in a requisite way.
"I just do."

And the whole thing seemed as good an answer as any.

We parked and got out the car and I hung my hand mid-air and he reached for it. I've always found these moments immense, because of the compatibility of understanding in the absence of words-finding an expecting hand without much meditation. It is, if anything, a nice reminder that I am, in fact, not a cold person. But with Seung Kyoon, these things are easy. He is, by nature, an incredibly affable child-endearing, and I think I've always felt that way about him. He seemed genuine, like he experiences things with wide fingertips and is apt to smile about it. And I was grateful.

-Saehee Cho, July 2008